Sleep being a learned habit you want your child to learn to fall asleep in the crib vs in arms as the crib is your long term goal. I use my Calm but Awake Method vs drowsy but awake. In my Helping Newborns Sleep class I teach parents how to help their newborn fall asleep in the crib instead of being held. How to Get a Baby to Sleep Without Being Held I find many babies start to wake up around 7-8 weeks and then again at 4 months with the 4 month sleep regression. If it’s always been in arms that what she comes to expect. Between 4 and 8 weeks your baby is learned how sleep happens. The drive to sleep is biological, the way we sleep is learned. If you lead with the head that motion will elicit the moro reflex and potentially wake her up. When you go to put your baby down, be sure to put her down feet, then bottom, then head. You can read more about the Moro Reflex here. When a baby is startled by a movement or sound their arms, back and neck extend. The Startle or Moro reflex is a primitive reflex that is present from birth. Reason #2: Your Eliciting the Startle Reflex on Put Down If she’s that tired she wants your comfort that much more. Sometimes this mimics colic like behavior. Overtime she falls into a sleep debt and can seem inconsolable. If she’s been staying awake too long that will increase how much she wakes up at night. Newborn babies need 16 to 20 hours of sleep per day in the first two months and most babies can only stay awake about 1 hour until about the 3 month mark. This will cause the need to be burped more. That can be like drinking out of a firehose and she will swallow air. If you are breast feeding and you have an Oversupply. You can read more about Acid Reflux in this post. With reflux, the sphincter between the esophagus (food tube) and stomach isn’t strong and stomach acid can splash up the esophagus causing pain and discomfort. Reflux exists in varying degrees on a continuum. Trying burping with soft squeezing pressure up her spine vs hard pats. When a child still has a burp inside she can be fussy or uncomfortable and may smack lips and try and feed but keep pulling on and off. Burping is more than just patting on the back it’s about squeezing out the bubbles. Your burping technique needs more finesse to get the bubbles out.Reasons #1: Your Newborn Might Be Uncomfortable : She has the learned habit of sleeping in arms. ![]() She’s older than 10 weeks and now has a sleep association that sleep happens in arms.You’re putting them down improperly and eliciting the Startle Reflex.I’ve found babies who are uncomfortable seek the comfort of being held and sleeping on someone. In the early weeks it can be hard for a new parent to assess if there is an underlying root cause as to why your baby refuses to be put down. There are 3 reasons this might be happening to you. Why it Happens That Some Newborns Won’t Sleep Unless Held At first it didn’t seem to bother you as you LOVED the feeling of her sleeping on you and wanted to keep her well rested but now it’s becoming really hard to maintain.
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